Каламбуры на английском языке

Содержание

Каламбуры на английском языке для школьных уроков.

Смешные каламбуры – Funny Puns

How should you greet the person who invented zero?
Thank you for Nothing.
What do you call a five sitting on clouds? A High-five
What are the favorite tunes of the planets? Nep-tunes
Would February March? No, But April May.
Why does a skeleton not like recess? Because it has no Body to play with
When does an astronaut eat? At Launch time
How did one pencil compliment the other? You look sharp!
What did the right eye say to the left eye? There is something between us, and it smells.
Why do police officers like to play baseball? Because they want to get a catch
How is the forest? It’s un-be-leaf-able!
What does a tree wear before going to the swimming pool? Swimming trunks
What is an Easter play called? Eggs-tra curricular activity
Why was the student studying on the terrace? To have a higher education
What’s wrong with the math book? It is full of problems
Why did the boy not use the computer? He feared it would byte him.
Why does Alice keep asking so many questions? Because Alice is in Wonderland
Name the most musical bone. Trombone
What has wheels and flies? A garbage truck
Why are the elevator jokes so good? Because they go through many levels
Why did the old man fall into the well? Because he didn’t see that well

How do pickles celebrate birthdays? They relish the moment.
What goes up but never comes down? Age
Which music scares birthday balloons? Pop music
Why do we place candles at the top of cakes? Because they can’t be placed at the bottom
Why do our relatives never forget our birthdays? Because age is just a relative thing
Why are people always warm on their birthdays? Because everyone toasts them
Where can you find a birthday gift for your cat? At the catalog
What did the elephant want on its birthday? A trunk filled with gifts
Why do cats like to celebrate birthdays? Because cats love to Purrrrrrty!
What is served at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake.
How do cats wish each other on their birthdays? Have a pawsome birthday!
How did the other animals wish the parrot on its birthday? Happy bird-day
What does a cat eat on its birthday? A mice-cream
How did the other animals wish the dinosaur on its birthday? You’re pretty dino-mite! Happy birthday!
What does a snowman like on its birthday cake? The ice-ing
What do you say to a female sheep on her birthday? Happy birthday to ewe!
Why do the birthday candles never exercise? Because they burn out quickly
How should you wish a tree on its birthday? Sappy birthday!
How should you wish your goldfish on its birthday? Wish you a Fin-tastic day!
Why did the teddy bear not eat the birthday cake? Because it was already stuffed
Why do owls never exchange birthday gifts? Because they never give a hoot!

What is the difference between a pancake and a waffle? A waffle is a pancake but with abs.
What would you do if a lemon gets sick? Give it a lemon aid
How does a pizza introduce itself? Slice to meet you
How do you fix a broken tomato? By using tomato paste
Where do the pepperonis go for their vacation? To the Leaning Tower of Pizza
What is a sleeping pizza called? A Pizzzzzzzzzza
What does a hot dog say to a sourdough? You are my true roll model.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles
What is the other name for a violent breakfast? Cereal killer
What did the banana ask its sick friend? How are you peeling, my friend?
Which veggie looks after the elderly? The carrot-aker
Which candy is always late? The Choco-late
When should a cookie go to the doctor? When it feels crummy
Why does the yogurt love to go to the museum? Because the yogurt is cultured
Why can’t eggs tell jokes? Because they will crack each other
Why did the tomatoes blush? They saw the salad dressing.
Why do the French like snails? Because they don’t like fast food
How do you make a walnut laugh? By cracking it up
How do you make a milkshake? By giving it a good scare
What does a piece of bread say to the other? You are my butter half.
What should you say to an avocado in the morning? Avo good day!

What do you call an alligator with a vest? An Investigator
Why did the spider turn on the computer? To check its website
Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work
What would you call a horse that lives near you? A neigh-bor
Why do horses have a great physique? Because they take a Stable diet
How does a dog take a break in the middle of a movie? By pressing Paws
What did the dinosaurs use for their bathroom decoration? Reptiles
What do you call a dinosaur with good vocabulary? A Thesaurus
Why are leopards bad at playing hide and seek? Because they always get spotted
What is a toothless bear called? A Gummy bear
Why do hummingbirds hum all the time? Because they have forgotten the words
How do cows entertain themselves? By watching Moo-vies
Which animal needs wigs? The bald eagle
What should you do if a dog chews a dictionary? Take the words out of its mouth.
Where does a mouse park its boat? At the Hickory Dickory Dock
Where does a sheep go on a vacation? Baaaahamas
What is a thief alligator call? A Crook-o-dile
What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot!
Which day is the most fearful day for a chicken? A Fry-day
What is a well-read cat’s favorite book? Of Mice and Men
What does a dog say after sitting on sandpaper? It’s Rufff.
Where do the polar bears go for voting? Answer: The North Poll